Give “Ugly Girls” a Chance

by H D Thompson


I don’t know if you guys have heard of the latest internet campaign but it’s one that I feel is a real issue in today’s society.

The “Give Ugly Girls a Chance” campaign.

For years “ugly girls” have been starving for attention, on the streets, at school, in the park, at work, even at home. These poor “girls” have been suffering and have survived hardship their whole lives due to the inflictions a shallow society has placed upon them and it is up to us as a nation, nay, as a species, to fix it.

“Ugly girls” are just like you and me. They need oxygen to breathe, they drink water sometimes and they too have opposable thumbs, just like you and me. And you know what else, just like you and me, they need love too. They need love guys, they aren’t getting any because they are “ugly girls” and ain’t nobody got time for that. We need to get time for that. We need to love them equally, as one of us. They are “desperately looking for a partner to have fun with” and I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t play Lego alone, I need a partner for that level of fun. Double Dutch? Table Tennis? Who will they play Patty Cake with? How will these poor “girls” ever play two player Mario Kart? THEY ARE DESPERATE!!

Early pioneers of the “Ugly Girls” campaign actually wrote a song trying to help the world see them for what they really are, to help build equality, bring them out from under the cover of a suffocating equal-opportunity blanket. Unfortunately for “ugly girls” everywhere satire wasn’t as recognised in the 90′s and the song came across as a serious hit, and enjoyed much success, but for all the wrong reasons:

 

Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All attempted to start a rally at a concert a couple of years ago, again to little avail:

 

Its time to change. The United Nations are busy – this one is up to us. You probably know an “ugly girl” and don’t even know it. You were probably raised on the belief that everyone is pretty. You are wrong. Repressing the shallow gene is what led these “ugly girls” to be ignored for all these years. Thought to be one of us and tragically overlooked, these “ugly girls” have quietly sat by and watched  everyone else pair up for fun activities while they quietly sat on the sidelines, crying “ugly” tears down their “ugly” cheeks, into bowls of “ugly” nachos.

Time to change. Let’s end the discrimination of “Ugly Girls”. It’s up to us. My name is Harry, and I am going to “Give Ugly Girls a Chance”.