More Things That Can F*#king Eat Me

– Enthusiastic housemates. I don’t care that you have managed to cross off all the things on your to do list before midday, I really don’t. I don’t care that you actualised your dreams, I really don’t. All I care about is lying here on this couch, in this dark room, eating these end-of-day-discount donuts and watching The Golden Girls. Please take your enthusiasm for life to another room and fuck it if it’s that tangible.

– Whoever the fuck keeps naming Melbourne the world’s most liveable city or whatever. Please stop, my rent is high enough as it is, fuck off and stop making my home expensive. Read the rest of this entry »