Ever After: A Cinderella Story starring Drew Barrymore – How More Barry Drew a Story of a Cinder Loving Fella After Ever

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The world is a crumbling piece of shit and there’s already so much said on that matter, so here I am to rant about Ever-fucking-After. It’s a hammy romp through the countryside. It’s a political take on aristocracy. It’s a genuinely funny romantic comedy. It’s a French countryside wonder to behold. It’s a fairy tale. It’s a feminist masterpiece. It has so many elements going for it that it shouldn’t work but it fucking does and I don’t give a shit who disagrees with me. Continue reading “Ever After: A Cinderella Story starring Drew Barrymore – How More Barry Drew a Story of a Cinder Loving Fella After Ever” →

Ramblings of an Isolated Nobody

92575620_2501410820172694_1195256919934107648_n Under the eye of Covidia I am a walking hospo corpse, and this is my story.

I’ve decided to take this time to enhance my sewing skills. Online tutorials are a great way to learn the basics, but until the little fucker puts the fucking lotion the fucking skin I’m at a complete standstill. Continue reading “Ramblings of an Isolated Nobody” →

Week 25 & 26 – Groove is in the Heart

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There are almost no buses that ran north along the coast, and what was left was full, so I hitched a ride with my Mum up to Brisbane. I found an old mixed cd I had made when I was a teenager entitled “Groovin Fun Times”, which surprisingly held up to its name. Continue reading “Week 25 & 26 – Groove is in the Heart” →

Week 23 & 24 – Last Train out of Melbourne’s Almost Gone

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The train from Melbourne to Sydney is 12 hours long, and if anyone ever wanted a front row seat to deep Australian culture, I cannot recommend it enough. There’s no wifi or power points, so at some stage, you just have to sit and watch the shit unfold. Continue reading “Week 23 & 24 – Last Train out of Melbourne’s Almost Gone” →

Week 21 & 22 – Oppressive Nights and Sultry Days

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One afternoon I coughed up a piece of toast I had had for breakfast, which was very convenient because I hadn’t yet had lunch. Even my body is getting in on being thrifty. Continue reading “Week 21 & 22 – Oppressive Nights and Sultry Days” →

Week 20 – Rock Forever 21 but Just Turned 30

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Conversation with a flight attendant on the flight from London to Abu Dhabi:

“Something to drink sir?”

“Wine?”

“I’m afraid it’s just water or juice at this time”

“…wine is a kind of juice” Continue reading “Week 20 – Rock Forever 21 but Just Turned 30” →

Week 19 – They Called My Name

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Overheard at Edinburgh Castle:

“Well, this is an old building isn’t it?”
“Oh, I thought it said dragon”, when perusing the Museum of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards
“It’s bigger than my dorm”, referring to the military solitary confinement cells

Continue reading “Week 19 – They Called My Name” →

Week 18 – Marble the Revolution

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The first day of 2018 was spent pretty much as any other – hungover on a couch watching a movie, nestled between two snuggling couples on either side of me, hugging empty pizza boxes. All was well with the world. Continue reading “Week 18 – Marble the Revolution” →

Week 17 – In One Year & Out the Other

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Steph visiting was like a fresh perspective of my mental state. It went from “I’m doing great being alone this is fine” to, “I met a chicken today she seems cool” to, “I made friends with this chicken she is all I have we braided our hair and swapped secrets and I love her” to “a human friend came and we ate my other friend” to “I hope I don’t meet anyone else this could get weird”. Continue reading “Week 17 – In One Year & Out the Other” →

Week 16 – Imprisonment, Freedom, a Blonde Knight & a Very Buon Natale

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It’s been seven hours and fifteen days, since I’ve seen the outside of this tower. Not really, but if I can’t work a Sinéad O’Connor lyric in somehow then what is anything even about. It rained for five days straight rendering my daily walks impossible. I tried going out with a raincoat but it was so unpleasant and when I got back things took so long to dry it just wasn’t worth it. So I locked myself in to wait it out, daring the skies to maintain their bad mood. Continue reading “Week 16 – Imprisonment, Freedom, a Blonde Knight & a Very Buon Natale” →