Week 15 – The Boy in the Tower

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I wake up most mornings in the nest I made myself by the fireplace because the wind was still too strong to sleep upstairs. I awake with soot on my face and on the pages of my book. Without even trying I am evolving into Danielle de Barbarac played by Drew Barrymore in the film Ever After: A Cinderella Story starring Drew Barrymore. Except in this version, I don’t end up with a prince I just get the title deed to the castle and a weekly wine delivery subscription. Continue reading “Week 15 – The Boy in the Tower” →

Week 14 – The Castle in the Valley

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My castle has a dungeon which is used as a storage hole and, if I had any, it would be where I would throw my belligerents. It has a viewing window on the lower floor which is where I would watch them beg for mercy while I waited for my spin cycle to finish. Continue reading “Week 14 – The Castle in the Valley” →

Week 13 – Under the Umbrian Super Moon

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My last day in Sarajevo I fell victim to the devilled Black Ice. For those unfamiliar, black ice is a patch of thin ice masquerading as a harmless puddle, designed solely to send hapless fools hurtling toward the cold harsh earth. Continue reading “Week 13 – Under the Umbrian Super Moon” →

Week 12 – Roses are Red, Violence is Blue

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The streets here are littered with divots in the concrete, splashed with red paint and framed. They are the Roses of Sarajevo and they are scars in the ground from the explosions of mortar shells during the war and serve as a monument to the innocent lives that were lost in that spot. As the asphalt of the city gets slowly replaced the roses disappear, but the memory of the very recent war will take much longer to die out. Continue reading “Week 12 – Roses are Red, Violence is Blue” →

Week 11 – Eye Heart Sarajevo

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After I emerged from the bus after 29 hours I felt like a butterfly escaping the cocoon, except more like a moth and even probably more like a prolapsing organ. Continue reading “Week 11 – Eye Heart Sarajevo” →

Week 10 – Buses & Saunas & Danish Cocktowers

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In my last few hours in Amsterdam I checked out one of the most stunning cinemas I’ve ever seen. Entering the foyer I felt unworthy, which is usually the mark of a good establishment. Continue reading “Week 10 – Buses & Saunas & Danish Cocktowers” →

Week 9 – It’s All Just So Dutch

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So Rachel left and I stuck around Amsterdam for a couple more days to meet up with some friends/sort out my life. My first task was finding somewhere to stay, as the couch I had arranged to surf on had fallen through, and pickings were slim. Continue reading “Week 9 – It’s All Just So Dutch” →

Week 8 – Last Week for the Kids

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This was the last week Rachel and I would be together, for after Amsterdam we split and go our separate ways. Travelling around Europe together for two months seemed a pretty good last hurrah for us both as we start anew. I had to stop prancing about and settle and work. Europe ain’t cheap anymore. Continue reading “Week 8 – Last Week for the Kids” →

Week 7 – I Don’t Speak German But I Can If You Like

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On the bus to Munich a couple took the seats in front of me. They spent the first couple of hours making those gross smacking noises as they made little kisses on the seats. Even with earplugs in I could hear them expressing their disgusting love. The chair in front of mine also reclined so far I think it might have been broken, because the only thing that stopped it going further was my legs. I felt like Santa with a fat kid on his lap who was playing with himself under his shorts and wouldn’t get off for 7 hours. Continue reading “Week 7 – I Don’t Speak German But I Can If You Like” →

Week 6 – The Good, the Bad and the Orgy

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Mark Twain drank scotch every night to prevent toothaches, which as a cheap beer-drinking tourist who can’t afford scotch, I put down as the reason for my early morning trip to an emergency dental clinic in Zadar hours before we were to get a bus out of town. As a result I vowed to drink more scotch whenever possible. Continue reading “Week 6 – The Good, the Bad and the Orgy” →